I probably haven’t heard the song Konstantine since high school. It just sneak attacked me on my study playlist while studying in the library and I’m sitting here darn near in tears because it’s reminding me so much of the boys and the old days. When we would all sit around my piano in the middle of the night and belt out this song while I played it on the piano. Or pretty much any song at all. Or when Jordan and I stayed up on my couch all night talking the night before I moved to Pennsylvania, and I woke up to him on the phone with his boss, quitting his job. Michael jumping off of my balcony on New Years Eve even though I told him not to, and me being so incredibly mad at him for it. Though, in retrospect it’s actually hilarious. Going to concerts and seeing our heroes on stage together. Singing songs for our school every Thursday morning at “Coffee House.” Fucking show choir. Marcus always telling his mom he was hanging out with me because I was the only girl she ever approved of. Fighting with Marcus about everyone I’ve ever dated because he’s the closest thing to a brother I’ve ever had. Countless nights sitting around a fire in my driveway, or in the dark in my living room just playing music, singing, talking. My dad telling us to keep it down. Playing piano with Michael. All-State choir with Sam, Philip and Dru. Getting stuck three times in the snow in Sara’s car on the way to pick up Jordan on a night when school had been cancelled the next day, even though he lives a block away.
Just them being around.
I’m so incredibly proud of these boys, they deserve nothing less than the world and I would not changeanything, but sometimes I miss the old days so much it hurts.